Conquering Imposter Syndrome | Ep 14
In 1999, Hollywood actress Natalie Portman was an 18-year old college freshman at Harvard University. Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace had just been released. In it she portrayed Queen Amidala in her first major blockbuster role. Following the film’s success at the box office, one would imagine Natalie walking around campus with her head held high, as confident and charming as we imagine Hollywood stars ought to be. Well, we imagined wrong.
In 2015, twelve years after completing a degree in Psychology, Natalie returned to Harvard to give a speech addressed to the graduating class. She shared, “Today I feel much like I did when I came to Harvard Yard as a freshman in 1999. I felt like there had been some mistake, that I wasn’t smart enough to be in this company, and that every time I opened my mouth I would have to prove that I wasn’t just a dumb actress.”
Have you ever felt the same way? Granted, the circumstances around your own feelings of doubt and insecurity may look very different, yet that inner sense of being a fraud is totally relatable, right?
Well, it has a name: the Imposter Syndrome. Australian entrepreneur Mike Cannon-Brookes defines this phenomenon so aptly. He says,”It’s that feeling of being well well out of your depth, yet already entrenched in the situation. Internally, you know you’re not skilled enough, experienced enough, or qualified enough to justify being there, yet you ARE there.”
So Imposter Syndrome is characterized by feeling as though you don’t belong, like you don’t deserve the job you have or the accomplishments you’ve achieved. Along with these feelings comes a gnawing sense of eventually being “discovered” or “found out” to be the fraud you believe you are.
Maya Angelou, author, had this to say on the subject, “I have written eleven books, but each time I think, ‘Uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.” Hers is a thought that has echoed, and is echoing still, in the minds of men and women across generations, race, and job description.
In fact, as you listen to this, you are probably already counting yourself in, recalling all the times you’ve thought along the same lines. And so, my friends, I’ve said all that to say this: If you suffer from the Imposter Syndrome, know that you are in exceptional company. Contrary to the lies in your head, these fraudulent feelings aren’t uniquely yours.
The good news is, Imposter Syndrome can be overcome. The better news? I’ve got some practical and concrete habits that you can start developing today to overcome it. Let’s get started.
Over the course of studying the subject, expert Dr. Valerie Young identified five categories of Imposter Syndrome according to competence type. The Perfectionist, the Superwoman / Superman, the Natural Genius, the Soloist, and the Expert. On her website, impostersyndrome.com, Dr. Young gives a detailed description of each competence type. Here they are in a nutshell.
The Perfectionist’s primary focus is on “how” to get something done. The tiniest flaw or glitch would equate to failure and shame.
The Superwoman / Superman measures competence based on “how many” roles they can both juggle and excel in. Success is driven by his / her ability to handle everything easily and perfectly. The inability to do so equates to failure and shame.
The Natural Genius focuses on “how” and “when” accomplishments happen. He or she should be able to acquire and master skills easily and swiftly. In fact, he or she should be able to achieve this on the first try. Struggling to do so or taking too long equates to failure and shame.
The Soloist focuses on “who” completes the task. He or she thrives on being able to achieve success with the help of no one. Admitting the need for any kind of help or assistance equates to failure and shame.
The Expert focuses on “what” and “how much” they know or can do. He or she believes it is necessary to know everything beforehand. Not knowing everything, even things people don’t expect them to know in the first place, equates to failure and shame.
Did any of these descriptions hit a sensitive spot for you? I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve dealt with these feelings of inadequacy and shame throughout my journey as an entrepreneur. And what I’ve learned is that we don’t overcome by not feeling them (because we inevitably do)--we overcome through the consistent practice of taking them captive and channeling them into something good. How? Here are some ways.
Leave room for error and welcome it as an opportunity for growth. There is so much to learn from the mistakes we make. Rather than seeing these mistakes as ugly blotches on your character, instead consider them as fertile soil from which only good things can grow.
If you are a perfectionist, you are likely to mull over an error for hours or days on end. Rather than simmering over what you should’ve done, make a list of what you could do better or differently next time. Look for opportunities to grow rather than being weighed down by opportunities you think you missed. Always look ahead and celebrate the fact that you are in a position to try again.
Draw the line between working hard to become better versus working hard to prove you are better. It all boils down to what motivates you. Two people could be working equally hard and excelling at the same pace.
Person A is driven by the desire to become a better version of themselves. He or she enjoys the process, knowing that there is always room to progress and learn. On the other hand, Person B is driven by the desire to prove their worth to everyone else. He or she is bogged down by the process, always thinking that they don’t measure up and therefore must compensate by doing even more.
Are you Person A or Person B? Be true to yourself as to why you do what you do. If you feel the need to prove your worth or your competence, go back and review your journey thus far. Take inventory of all the things you’ve achieved that back up the fact that you deserve to be where you are and are capable of going further still.
Relax your grip on being an achiever and embrace being a learner. You want to be excellent in what you do, and that’s ok. Aiming for greatness is a good thing, but so is the journey towards it. All the world’s greatest athletes trained hard, lost matches, suffered from injuries, and went through all sorts of other detours. Nobody made it to the top on their first try.
Did this disqualify them from greatness? Absolutely not. But you can be sure that when they did reach number 1, the journey--with all its ups, downs, tumbles, and turns--made the achievement all the more sweeter. Embrace the learning process and release the pressure you’ve been living under. You are not a fraud for going through a journey that most people are also going through themselves.
As cheesy as it sounds, it’s true: teamwork makes the dream work. Mike Cannon-Brookes shares that most of the successful people he knows don’t question themselves, but they do regularly question their ideas and their knowledge. He says, “They know when the water is way too deep and they’re not afraid to ask for advice. They don’t see that as a bad thing.”
Trusting other people to come alongside you on your journey may be a scary thing, especially when you feel the need to prove your worth. But keep at it. Eventually, you may find that sharing the journey is actually fun and asking for help is a rewarding experience.
Lastly, remember this: knowledge will never be enough. In your entire lifetime, how much you know will never outweigh how much you don’t know. Our brains can only take so much! Submitting to that fact will free you from the endless pursuit of wanting to know enough so that you can prove your worth. You will never know enough, none of us will. But we can keep learning new skill sets or gaining more knowledge about our fields as we go through our respective journeys. The beauty of this is that our worth grows as we grow!
Take it from Einstein himself, a man whose name is synonymous to genius. Quote: “Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.”
The next time you feel like a fraud, stop the thought right in its tracks, take it captive, and speak truth over it. Express gratitude for your journey thus far and set your eyes on the road that lies ahead. The fact that you are on this journey at all just goes to show that you are worthy of it. So don’t waste your time thinking that you don’t deserve what you have right now. Keep going. The rest of us are doing the very same thing right alongside you.
